WingColors

My wife is the queen of "oh nothing", "whatever" and "nevermind".

I would say that people tend to push others away because their ego is in the back of their mind. My guess is that they don't want to feel embarrassed or inferior.

"Whatever" (the single most nonchalant dismissal ever)

"Just think positive" (so says the person who has never experienced hardship in their life)

"I'm there for you" (especially said online or over the phone)

"I understand how you feel" (unless you're my shadow that's been living the same life I have. No, I don't think so.)

Basically, these words are the biggest taboos to be said around me especially in times of comfort. It pisses me off to no end and it's not going to help the situation.

They are words I will always avoid saying as well. Helping someone isn't about giving generic words that have no purpose or function. If you're going to inspire someone, do it from the way you know them. Know what they are going through. Empathise with what they feel. If possible, extend a hand if you can.

Oh this (I think) relates to a very interesting article I read in Time.

When people talk, they lay lines on each other, do a lot of role playing, sidestep, shilly-shally and engage in all manner of vagueness and innuendo. We do this and expect others to do it, yet at the same time we profess to long for the plain truth, for people to say what they mean, simple as that. Such hypocrisy is a human universal.

My lady is queen of answering the "what's wrong?" question with "oh nothing" or "it doesn't matter"

The single most frustratingly false statements to make, that can take a good hour of investigation before the truth comes out. That winds me up.

My favourite word to throw in is "quite"

It's so neutral yet patronising at the same time - poetry it is, poetry.

Great note, Scrivs. Also, great link, anotherstory.

I can't stand these phrases, either. More so recently, actually. It's indicative of the annoyance of a person's emotions to another. If you are going to ask for help or enlist the concern of another to your own well-being, don't half-ass it. It shows lack of consideration for their efforts and their emotions.

All-time phrases that piss me off:

"Don't take it so personally."

"You're so emotional."

It's crazy-making because such things told to others invalidates their own feelings. Who are you to say how they should or should not feel? "Should" and "feel" really shouldn't be used in the first place, anyway. What to "do" as a result of those feelings are an entirely different matter.

There's a certain respect that's garnered towards others when you don't have to understand (or pretend as if you do) what they're going through but you can try and be their outlet to vent because the emotion needs to be let out in one way or another. You're willing to inconvenience yourself and realize that the stuff is not relevant to you whatsoever and this particular moment is about them...

I personally get REALLY pissed when people use phrases like "Honestly...", and "Seriously..."

Were you lying to me up to that point? Were you being so dishonest that you had to preface your comments with "honestly" so I would be able to separate your truths from your lies... or are you just stupid?

"With all due respect" -- usually followed by something that's anything but.

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but" -- usually followed by some nasty observation.

I think men are guilty of the "don't get so emotional" card and we play it on women many times. I know I've played it at Tyme before and basically any other woman that has crossed my path. With me being so perfect and simply joking with them, why should they ever get upset at the cutdowns I throw at them? Because they are emotional...

"Don't work too hard." Always get this from my in-laws. I'll work as hard as I deem necessary to attain my goal, thank you.

Heh, people tell me don't work too hard and I seem to listen to them a bit too much.